Monday, May 28, 2007

old eyes (2)

By popular demand...

December 2002 - The promise and the fear

The Promise
I promise to be there for you... no matter what
That you will have my heart
For as long as I live... and even through eternity
I promise to be true to you...
even if I am not being true to myself
I promise that you will have my strength to use as you will
... and if that were not enough
to find enough strength..somehow, somewhere...

The fears...
I'm afraid at times
that I might love you too much.
That my love
instead of bathing you in the warmth of its tenderness
might be like the raging fire
consuming you in its fervour
That my embraces,
instead of warming you and loving you
might choke you
and crush you
I am afraid.



Now...

My words mock me oldeyes... They fly off the pages laughing and screaming into the air... Some of them are crying...wondering what happened to their power, their meaning? They disturb me...but I have no answers for them oldeyes... I have no answers for them...

I beg them to leave me alone ...that their pain is my pain... but they refuse oldeyes, they refuse. Sometimes they sit in front of me and stare.. They do not talk...But their eyes accuse me..."Liar! False Prophet! Hypocrite!" their eyes say. I cringe but they do not stop... Fool! Madman! they scream...

I ignore them at those times oldeyes... Yes, oldeyes, I ignore my beautiful children... My beautiful, empty children ...

And worst of all oldeyes, when I call them sometimes... they do not come... My words are leaving me oldeyes...my children have turned their backs on me... My beautiful, empty children... Tell me, oldeyes, tell me... Why have all the words lost their meaning?

7 comments:

adumaadan - Blacktinkerbell said...

My dear mad friend, your words have not left you. You still have the gift, absolutely fantastic. Where is the story behind the story?

Funmi said...

'ol boy... dix is beautiful. such beautiful beautiful words...

TMinx said...

Welcome. Love it

adumaadan - Blacktinkerbell said...

My friend, I'm still waiting for the story o

Chubby said...

hey u...methinks ur words ve not left u...its more like u & oldeyes don't believe in ur words...its like being thru an accident...and needing physiotherapy for ur legs...if u don't believe u can walk again...then u can't walk again!!!

dScR?Be said...

wow, like deg..... u n my cousin (ozaveshe.blogspot.com) are the best, most unique writers i have ever seen!!
Your words will never leave, r they indeed empty or filled with passion?

Anonymous said...

because maybe for a while... you lost the thing that gave those words meaning... oldeyes...