Tuesday, July 8, 2008

...

Don’t you love me any more?
Can’t you give me another chance?
I swear… I will make you happy.
I will do anything for you.
Why do you look at me like that?
Please don’t look at me like that.
Stop. Please stop.
Don’t go.
Please don’t go.
Please…
I will do anything for you.
I will do anything you want.
Please don’t go.
Please give me one more chance.



Those were her last words to me. I wonder why I still remember them… why I remember those particular words. It’s the same way I remember everything else about that night. I remember the pink dress she was wearing, the way she kept wiping her palms on the sides of her dress… like she was trying to get a stain off. The way I couldn’t stop looking at her… I couldn’t stop even though I wanted to. The way she looked like she was about to cry, the way I felt like I was about to cry. I should have cried then I think… but it would have been meaningless. I would not have stayed even if I had cried. I could not have stayed even if she had cried.

There are days I think I forgot something about that night. And that keeps me up awake sometimes. Then I replay the whole scene in my mind… I replay her words… over and over again, trying to remember what I might have forgotten… till I drift to sleep, and dream about it all over again. I dream about her, her words, the pink dress and her hands. But I still wake up thinking maybe I forgot something, and that worries me.
I promised myself never to forget you see. I am afraid that I might forget what it all meant to me. I am afraid that I might forget why it was important that I did not forget.
But I am afraid I may have forgotten something, something important. And I am not sure what that is.

9 comments:

omohemi Benson said...

but doesn't forgetting,
help sometimes?

ibilola said...

@omohemi d agony of forgetting is dat lessons learnt would be repeated or worse yet d memory of joy is lost

La Reine said...

"But I am afraid I may have forgotten something, something important. And I am not sure what that is."

Man....

Thanks for the good luck wishes:)

Pink-satin said...

hmmm

sleek n' catty said...

Very deep.. Sometimes certain events are so vividly ingrained on our subconscious, its scary.

miz-cynic said...

i love the way u write, pls write more often

Jaycee said...

Maybe you don't want to ever forget that you loved her...

babeandahalf said...

Dude, you need to shut down your blog. Two posts in a whole year??? Unacceptable!!!

ibilola said...

Haba! Lost, nearly 6 months and not 1 sentence?
Are u still on this earth!